Win or Lose at the Horse Show, Do So With Grace and Class

For many equestrians, horse showing is the highlight of the year. As a competitor, the emotional roller coaster is real: the thrill of hearing your number called when you're placed, or the disappointment when you're not. Regardless of the outcome—whether you win or lose, whether you place first or sixth—it’s essential to maintain control over your emotions, actions, and words. It’s easy to gloat when you win or to complain when you lose, but remember that there are always others watching and listening.

Ok, so you didn’t win the class, how do you handle this?

Be kind to your horse

Win or lose, your horse’s well-being should always come first. Be gentle and kind, never taking your frustrations out on them. If your horse is hot and you have a break between classes, take a moment to dismount and offer them some water.

Be kind to yourself and manage your emotions

Self-criticism only holds you back. Be mindful of how you speak to yourself—showing should be enjoyable, and no one wants to be around negativity. There’s no crying at horse shows—not because you’re nervous or because you didn’t win. Stay positive, and treat yourself with respect.

Congratulate those who did win

If you didn’t win, lose with dignity and grace. Always congratulate those who did. Showing should be fun, and many competitors enjoy it for the social connections they make. Being a good sport will help you forge lasting relationships in the equestrian community.

Thank your trainer and support team

Even if you didn’t win, there are likely many people who helped you along the way—whether it’s a trainer, friend, family member, or fellow competitor. Acknowledge and thank them for their time and support.

Do not complain, either at the show or on social media

This is a big one. Too often, competitors will complain, either at the show or on social media, about not winning. Comments like "My pattern was better, I deserved to win" or "Did you see what they did in that class?" are disrespectful and unprofessional. Remember, judges put in a lot of time and effort, and your comments could reach them. Complaining paints you in a negative light and is immature. Even seasoned youth and amateur competitors understand that negativity serves no purpose. Stay positive, avoid blaming others, and refrain from complaining.

Evaluate your performance and seek ways to improve

Instead of blaming your horse or others, think about what you could have done differently to improve your performance. Have you read the rule book? Do you understand how the class is judged? Consider videotaping your rides so you can analyze your performance, or ask your trainer for feedback to help you prepare better for next time.

Value the experience of competing

Not winning is not the same as failing. Sometimes, a third-place ribbon can hold more meaning than a first-place ribbon if you and your horse performed to the best of your abilities. Every time you compete, you’re making progress toward your goal, and just showing up is an accomplishment in itself. The connections, experiences, and lessons you gain from horse showing are invaluable and contribute to your growth as an equestrian. Plus, competing helps strengthen the equine community and the associations under which you show.

Now, let’s flip the script—How to handle yourself when you win

Do not gloat in front of others

For every winner, there are many who didn’t win. It’s perfectly fine to celebrate your success, but do so with grace and humility. Remember, some competitors may feel frustrated about not winning, so being tactful and respectful in your celebration is important.

Do not focus on anything negative from the class while exiting the show pen

There’s nothing more frustrating to fellow competitors than hearing the winner complain about their ride after they’ve just won. Celebrate your success with appreciation for the effort you put in, and analyze ways to improve after the horse is put away for the day. Remember, others would love to be in your shoes, so always show gratitude.

Show gratitude

Thank the judges, pet your horse, express appreciation to your trainer, and continue to cheer on other competitors. If you take a photo with your awards, include everyone who helped you along the way—your trainer, coaches, family, friends, and grooms. Enjoy the moment with those who supported you.

Stay humble

No one stays at the top forever. Humility is a characteristic of a strong athlete. Just because you won today doesn’t mean you can stop working hard. Keep planning for future training and schooling sessions—there’s always room for improvement.

Always prioritize your horse

Although this is listed as number five, it is by far the most important. Before you head off to celebrate, ensure that your horse is properly cooled off, groomed, and cared for. Make sure they are fed, watered, and comfortable before you make any plans. After all, you wouldn’t have won without your horse, and they deserve the best care after the hard work.

Overall, showing is about more than just winning. It’s about learning, growing, and being a part of a larger community of equestrians who share a passion for horses and competition. Whether you win or lose, maintaining professionalism, humility, and a positive attitude will ensure you continue to thrive in this wonderful sport.